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The Five Love Languages: Your Key to a Deeper Connection in Relationships

Updated: Sep 1, 2023

In any long-term relationship, you must love intentionally, which involves creating love through deliberate effort. This concept, known as the 5 Love Languages, explains the significance of communicating love to your partner in whichever way THEY feel the most loved. Understanding and applying the five love languages to your daily interactions can help strengthen your bond with your significant other and ensure both partners feel valued and cared for.

People often confuse what love languages are and how to represent them inside of their relationships with their partners. What our partner’s love languages are is their way of feeling the most loved, seen, and validated. With that being said, we don’t love our partner based on our own love languages, but theirs. Two people may have deep love for each other, and if they don’t know how to communicate this, their relationship may not last.

When we don’t feel like our needs are being met in a relationship, it may cause arguments and fights. We all love differently and at times we may need to teach our partners ways and how to show love.

Here are the 5 Love Languages and examples on how to show them.

  1. Words of Affirmation - Your partner feels most loved when they hear language that makes them FEEL GOOD about who they are and what they do. Examples: Compliment their appearance. Tell them you appreciate them in your life.

  2. Quality Time - Your partner feels most loved when you spend time with them without any distractions. This requires being fully present. Examples: Take an evening walk together. (Talking isn’t required); Take a class together to express your willingness to be with them. Working out or cooking a meal together.

  3. Receiving Gifts - Some partners see receiving gifts as a symbol of love. The TYPE of gift matters less than the EFFORT behind it. Examples: Buying an item from a trip that made you think of your partner. Picking up a coffee for them in the morning. Small tokens when they aren’t feeling their best.

  4. Acts of Service - Some partners feel most loved when you help to get things done to make their lives easier. Examples: Doing the dishes if they cooked a meal. Helping with household chore/errands. Making them a bath after a long and difficult day.

  5. Physical Touch - Some partners feel most loved when they receive physical contact. Touches can be small or large and intimate or casual. Examples: Doing the 6-second kiss before you leave and come home for the day. Holding hands on a walk. Massages without expecting anything in return.

If you would like to learn more about yours and your partner’s primary love languages, you can take this quiz here:

Ready to take your relationship to the next level? Explore our couples therapy program and unlock the full potential of the five love languages with our expert guidance. Book a session today with our licensed relationship therapist, Jenny Nguyen. Jenny has specialized training in family systems therapy and the Gottman-Method. She helps couples and families create meaningful change towards better relationships and understanding of themselves and their loved ones.

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