Being in a healthy relationship can be hard work and requires self-awareness, effort, and patience. It can be very easy and ineffective to place blame or to point fingers in any relationship. At the end of the day, it takes two to tango.
While many have their own definition on what being a "good" partner is, it generally can be summed up as being supportive, understanding and respectful of your other half. It's crucial to communicate effectively and listen actively to your partner's needs and wants. In a nutshell, a good partner is someone who is committed, communicative, and compassionate.
Showing appreciation and gratitude for them is also a key aspect of being a good partner. Being a good partner also means being willing to compromise and work through any problems that may arise in the relationship. It's important to be honest and trustworthy, and to always be willing to put in the effort to make the relationship work. Additionally, it is important to show empathy and be willing to put oneself in the other's shoes.
Here are some ideas on how to take responsibility and contribute to your partnership or
marriage.
Tell your partner what your intentions are. Mean what you say and say what you mean. Telling your partner your intentions is a simple, yet powerful step towards a more fulfilling partnership. When both partners understand each other's goals, desires, and plans for the future, it can foster trust and reduce misunderstandings. Additionally, having open and honest conversations about your intentions helps ensure that both partners are on the same page, which can prevent disappointment and conflicts down the road. Being upfront about your intentions also shows that you respect and value your partner, and it allows for the opportunity for mutual support and growth in the relationship.
Be honest and open. It's imperative to be emotionally available for your significant other. This means being able to support them through difficult times and being able to share in their joys and successes. It also means being able to be vulnerable and open with them, and creating a safe space for them to do the same. Being honest and open are good traits for healthy and effective communication.
Don’t make promises that you cannot follow through on. Before you commit to something with your partner, take time to think if you can hold yourself accountable to accomplishing it and if it is realistic, if not, then tweak the promise to fit your abilities
Don’t put your interests above your partner because they will notice it. For example, going out most nights and coming home late without your partner, forgetting plans or important dates, being late, etc. You must be willing to grow and change as a person, which also means supporting your partner in their personal growth as well. It's important to note that a relationship is a two-way street, so both partners should feel heard and respected. Being able to balance independence with intimacy is also key. It's important to respect each other's space and interests, but also to make time for each other and to nurture the relationship.
Accept responsibility before it catches up to you. Don't be afraid to own up to your mistakes in a relationship - it's a sign of strength and a key step towards a better and more loving connection. When you admit to your faults, it shows your partner that you are trustworthy and that you value their feelings. This level of honesty and transparency can help build mutual trust and respect. Furthermore, taking responsibility for your actions demonstrates maturity and a willingness to learn and grow.
If your partner is wrong, don’t go wild. (i.e. saying “I told you so”, “why don’t you ever listen to me” You get the point!) These types of statements can make your partner feel criticized, dismissed, and unvalued. Instead of fostering open communication and understanding, they can lead to defensiveness and a breakdown in trust. It's important to approach conflicts and disagreements in a relationship with empathy and compassion, rather than placing blame or making accusations.
Work on your inner world and not let it affect those around you. Seek help to heal old wounds and traumas that may be affecting your relationships. Past experiences can have a significant impact on the way we interact with others and can cause difficulties in our current relationships. By seeking help from a therapist or counselor, you can work through these experiences and understand how they are affecting your life and relationships. This process can lead to increased self-awareness, improved communication skills, and a greater sense of emotional security, all of which can strengthen your partnership.
If you want help improving your relationship with your partner, we can help. Jenny Nguyen
832-966-0214 and/or email Jenny directly at Jenny@houstonfeelgoodtherapy.com, or our office at admin@houstonfeelgoodtherapy.com.