Class is in Session
It’s that time of the year again everyone! Before we know it, Facebook feeds across the U.S. will be full of back to school photos and school supplies will be flying off the shelves. Caregivers will breathe a sigh of relief as the first day of school approaches. While on the other hand, teachers and school staff will be soaking up every last minute of summer they can get. Children may be feeling a whirlwind of emotions like excitement, nervousness, disgust, and sadness as the first day back to routine and structure approaches.
Transitions back to school can be really difficult for all kids, but especially those who are going through transitions from elementary to middle school, and middle to high school. If you have a child currently approaching one of these transitions, you may have picked up on these difficulties as well. It is not uncommon for these children to experience heightened emotions (such as anxiety and worry) due to changes in the learning environment, peer dynamics, teachers, and expectations. Sometimes these heightened emotions can also be shown through a child’s behavior, such as some regression, yelling/hitting, and refusal of non preferred activities, along with struggles in frustration tolerance. Join me today as we review how to set your child up for success.
Stepping Up to Middle School
If you have a child at home who is currently making the step up from elementary school to middle school, here are some helpful tips to keep in mind. Children thrive on routine. Starting to build your child’s new routine back up in a manageable and consistent way will assist them, and yourself, in getting back into the swing of school time expectations. Let your child know as early as possible if there will be any changes to their school routine or expectations as they approach middle school. You can also role play or practice these changes at home to give your child more practice with the upcoming changes.
Anxiety and worry may be telling your child many “What if’s” during this time. You can help them through these by talking through the concerns, identifying any changes that may impact them, and creating plans for “worst case scenario” situations. Help your child learn to identify when they are stressed and skills to manage said stress. Middle school can be really difficult for children as there are a lot of new and complex dynamics in their education, peer relationships, and self-confidence. If you are already starting to practice stress management and frustration tolerance skills before the school year begins, you’re already taking steps to help your child manage their emotions in a healthy way. Being mindful of what and how you choose to respond to stress or frustration in your own life will also help set your child up for success. If your child is not in therapy at this time, working with a trained therapist can provide lots of support during these times of change.
During middle school, peer and social relationships may feel and seem all over the place as your child, and the peers around them, are learning how to navigate the world around them, manage their emotions, and create trusting relationships. Sometimes it’s hard for children at this age to communicate their emotions appropriately to their parents or their peers. I’m sure you can remember pieces of this in your own experience in middle school or childhood as well. Whether your child would like to admit it or not, they definitely do need you during this time and they do need your support.
13 Going on 30
High school can be such an exciting time for teenagers. There are so many new opportunities lying in front of them, like getting a driver's license, applying for their first jobs, and preparing for college or adulthood. With all of this excitement, it’s not out of the ordinary to also see some nervousness and anxiety as well. When a teenager enters into high school, they’re met with increased responsibility and higher expectations than in middle school. They are told to focus on their grades as this is what will propel them in their future. Yet also told not to be so stressed, it’s just high school, and to make lots of memories with friends, as there’s not much time left together after all. They are told to start making plans for their future and made to feel as if they should have it all figured out. Yet they lack the real world experience to know what to expect and to explore what their calling may be.
If you have a teenager that will be entering into high school this upcoming school year, you have a great opportunity to help them lay a really solid foundation for how they view and respond the world around them. It’s important to continue modeling appropriate stress response skills for them, along with helping them identify their own unique ones as well. You can also help them set realistic expectations and manageable goals for the year ahead of them. This will help them prioritize goals and learn how to manage stress that can feel overwhelming. Before the beginning of the school year, it’s not a bad idea to sit down with your teen and outline both new responsibilities and new or upcoming freedoms/privileges for the year as well. Your teen may be struggling with delayed gratification at this age still, and that’s okay. That’s where the setting of manageable goals comes into play! You are helping them develop and strengthen this skill at a consistent pace while reducing the potential for them to give up due to overwhelming feelings.
Like middle school, high school can be a lot for teenagers and many have vastly different experiences during their four years. While this phase of life can be overwhelming and hectic for students and parents alike, it’s also a beautiful time full of bittersweet moments, growth and transformation as adulthood approaches. Remind yourself to take time to sit in the present and enjoy the scene around you. Whether it’s slamming doors or tears after a first heartbreak, there’s a joy that can be found in the connection with your teen during this time.
Remember These Tips
Each new school year can bring a lot of change for the children and teenagers in your life. They’re learning how to navigate in the world around them and juggling new expectations, responsibilities, and schedule changes. It can be a lot and it can feel overwhelming. Remember to validate their emotions and their experiences. When children and teens feel heard and understood, they are able to approach obstacles feeling more confident and less defeated.
While you’re helping your child prepare for the upcoming school year, try to remember these key points. Consistency of expectations and implementations is crucial. Children (and humans) of all ages thrive on consistency and routine. Start helping your child prepare for the school year sooner rather than later. It doesn’t hurt to start reviewing previous school topics, new changes, and different expectations during the weeks leading up to the first day of school. And lastly, your own emotion regulation skills and habits can set the tone for overall appropriate emotional expression within the home environment and your child’s life. You will always be one of your child’s first role models and they will continue to look up to you and your actions when deciding how to respond to their own.
We’d love to connect with you! Do you have more questions about transitions or how you can help your child navigate transitions better? Our team at Houston Feel Good Therapy is here to help. To schedule an appointment or consultation, call or text us at 832-966-0214 or email at admin@houstonfeelgoodtherapy.com. We look forward to supporting you on your journey!
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